Child who is shy

These kinds of rituals can make separations easier. Ask a trusted caregiver to stay with your child while you leave. You will miss me, and I will miss you. But I need to leave to go to my job. And you will stay here and do your job—learning and playing. Miss Kathy will stay with you and take good care of you. I will come back after naptime to pick you up. This can be confusing to your child and make it harder for him to adapt to your absence.

It sends the message that you are worried about him, which may make him think there is something to worry about. Your child picks up on your cues. If you act anxious, he is likely to feel anxious too. If you show confidence that you know he will be fine, he is likely to feel more secure and adapt more quickly to the separation.

Make sure your child knows you love and accept her. Respect her needs, when you can. Avoid labels. Make time to play together doing things your child enjoys. Provide comfortable opportunities for developing social skills.

These opportunities might include playtime with one or two other children. Make time for your child to warm up to new caregivers. So plan ahead and make sure you have enough time to help your child get acquainted and comfortable with the caregiver. Give notice about new people, events, and places. Letting her know what to expect gives your child a sense of control, which can reduce her anxiety. Put what you think your child is feeling into words. Want to see if we can join in?

Provide regular opportunities for social interaction in your home. Getting together with family and friends gives children an opportunity to practice social skills in a familiar, safe setting.

Read books about friendships. Jane Yolen. Tuning in to your own approach to new people and situations is important. If you share a similar temperament with your child, his approach may feel natural and not be of any concern. But for parents who are more outgoing by nature, having a child who is slow to warm up may feel more challenging.

You may long for the day that your child runs onto the playground and starts exploring, instead of standing at the edge watching the other children for the first 20 minutes.

These are all normal feelings. This means encouraging her strengths e. This helps your child feel loved, confident, important, and capable. Your sensitive parenting helps your child know and feel good about himself as he grows and learns. Rebecca Parlakian. Challenging Behavior. Pro Tips for Managing Toddler Tantrums. Your 4th of July Survival Guide.

Getting Baby to Sleep. Skip to main content Skip to footer. Close Search Submit. Upcoming Events. Learning Center. Search Submit. However, other children demonstrate persistent shyness over time. Shyness with other children is of more concern than shyness with adults. It is common for children to be wary of adults, particularly men, but less common for children to be wary of children around their own age. Shyness is of concern if it results in playing alone when in groups of children.

Children who engage in very little social interaction in comparison to children their age are missing out on these important, cumulative learning experiences. As a result, their social cognition, social skills and sense of self may be less mature than those of other children their age.

Shyness with familiar social partners is of more concern than shyness with strangers. It is of particular concern if children are shy with other children their own age they see regularly, such as childcare or school classmates. Shyness with familiar classmates suggests children may be worried about how other kids treat them, or whether they will be liked and accepted.

Shyness is of more concern if a child is poorly treated by other children than if a shy child is well treated by other children.

Shy children are more likely than other children to be excluded and victimised by kids their own age and to have trouble making friends. Although shyness tends to be equally prevalent in boys and girls, shy boys sometimes encounter more difficulties with friends than shy girls.

Our sixth child, Matthew, is one of the most peaceful, happy children to ever live on the face of this earth. He is a reserved person with a lot of valuable inner stuff for others to discover. Matthew is just a nice child to be around. Peter, our third child, is like this, too. Shortly after Matthew started school, we had our first parent-teacher conference. As the school year progressed, the teacher grew in respect for this quiet, peaceful, blond-haired boy in row two.

Matthew was a nice student to be around. In some children, shyness is the manifestation of inner problems, not inner peace. This child is more than shy, he withdraws. He avoids eye-to-eye contact and has a lot of behavioral problems.

People are not comfortable in his presence. When you delve into this little person, you discover he operates from anger and fear instead of peace and trust. When you delve deeper, you often find he has a lot to be angry about. For these children, shyness is a handicap, reinforcing their weak self-esteem.

To cure the shyness, you must build up the self-esteem. This child needs parents he can trust, who discipline in a way that does not lead to internalized anger and self-dislike. What about the bubbly two-year-old who smiles and waves at every stranger, but who at age three turns into a clam? Mothers often worry about what they did to cause such a personality reversal. They act before they think, especially in social relations. When I enter the examining room the child lowers her chin to her chest, semi-closes her eyes, puts her thumb into her mouth, and darts behind her mother, clinging to her legs trying to hide.

I make no attempt to go after the child, but first greet the mother in an easy, friendly way. As the mother becomes comfortable relating to me, the child listens in on our socializing. I sure would like to see her.